I’m Packed and Ready for the Off

Well, almost.


Tis a glorious sunny morning here the edge of the moors and my grand plans for doing zip were scuppered when Her Indoors suggested we start packing for Tenerife.

We fly off a week on Tuesday. Suffice it to say, I could have started packing at teatime a week on Monday, and still been sat down in time for Coronation Street.

As you can see above, the laptop, a clone of its big brother, is fully charged and raring to go. It drops into a rucksack, along with my video camera and Kindle. The stills camera, a Nikon compact, fits in my pocket.

So we began packing, and five minutes later, I was back at the workstation. Look below and you can see I’m packed and ready for the off.


So how is it possible to go for a week in Tenerife with nothing more than a carrier bag from our local convenience store? Simple. One pair shorts, one t-shirt (I’ll be wearing the other one from home) one pair socks (I’ll be wearing the other one from home) two pairs underpants (I’ll be wearing the other pair from home but I have to consider emergencies, especially with all that cheap beer).

That’s it. Can you tell me what more I will need on the Island of Eternal Spring? Shoes? I’m wearing ’em. Soap, shower gel, sun lotion? I can buy, beg, steal or borrow all of it.

Sadly, Her Indoors has other ideas… as below.


She needs to take 14 dresses and 28 tops, Half a dozen pairs of shoes, more knickers than you’ll find in an Ann Summers window display, plus creams ointments, cosmetics, and towels.

“Don’t the hotel have towels?” I whined.

A plea fallen on deaf ears as she proceeded to check the suitcase dimensions to see if the kettle and toaster will fit in it.

And it’s all right carting all this stuff with us, but most of it won’t get used, and we have to bring it back, which naturally means there’ll be less room in the cases for cheap beer and ciggies.

There’s no justice.

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