It’s That Time Again

British Summer Time officially begins today, which means I have to go round the house altering the clocks. Not only the house, but the car too. My last car was one of those where you pressed and held a button on the clock to change the time. Fine when you’re moving the time forward one hour, but when it came to changing it back, you had to wind it on twenty three hours. So I never bothered and the car was on British Summer Time all year round.

It’s also Mother’s Day. This picture was taken some time about 1963, and that’s Ma in the picture between the old man and a very young me.

“Treat your Mum to something special,” the adverts said in the supermarket yesterday. I don’t think she’d appreciate it. She’s been dead almost twenty years. I’ve changed a couple of profile pics in her honour for the day.

A tiny woman, she was the only person who ever had any control over me. When she said, “jump,” I asked, “how high?” But she also taught me to read and write before I started school which gave me a head start on a lot of the other kids.

Not that it did much good. I was a complete waster when I was younger and it’s only now when I look back, I think, “If I had my time again…”

I’d probably do nothing different.

And that’s the trouble with time. It’s a one-way process. You can’t backtrack and correct your mistakes. All you can do is move forward and learn from those errors. Did I ever learn from them? Did I hell as like. I’m still smoking, drinking and doing all those other things mother warned me against.

Like going to Filey?

Well, I don’t ever remember her telling me not to go to Filey, but if she did, I’ve freely ignored her, and as a result, I met the missus there in 1979.

We’re going back tomorrow.

Well, if I’ve had 30-odd years of it, I don’t see why Filey shouldn’t suffer too.

We will be back on Friday with scary stories from Scarborough and the bawdy buzz from Bridlington as well as Filey phobia. Until then, be good, if you can’t be good, be careful, and if you can’t be careful, try changing the back shocks on your car with only a plank and pile of bricks as a lever. It’ll soon drain that excess energy.


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